The Tucker Max Stories
Belligerence & Debauchery
STORIES CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT. FUNNY AS HELL, BUT EXPLICIT.
- Tucker is a pimp
Even though he showed up to recent party
looking like an out-of-work Macaroni Grill waiter in jeans and flip-flops,
Tucker Max still hit it off with the ladies. Of course, his main competition
was business analysts and computer consultants, which made Tucker look like
the "alluring bad boy."
- Tucker goes
three-minute dating, hilarity ensues
A chance to talk to 30 different women
about himself, crack some jokes, drop a couple insults and move on to the
next girl? Three-minute dating may just be the ideal forum for Tucker Max,
the perfect way to avoid the consequences of his charm and wit.
- The night we almost
There are fun nights, there are crazy
nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends. Tucker had
one of those legendary nights when he and his buddies upset a bunch of
locals at a redneck bar.
- The Marley stories
Tucker learned a valuable life lesson
when he took care of a friend's dog for a month: chicks dig cute and cuddly
puppies. He also learned that dogs will piss all over your laundry if you
leave them cooped up in your apartment for 18 hours.
time I got arrested at O'Hare
When he was a 170-pound college freshman,
Tucker had the crap kicked out of him by several Chicago policemen before
being thrown into a holding cell at O'Hare Airport. The worst part about it
was Tucker had no idea why.
- That was me
The guy who used a three-year-old child
to sneak a Camelbak full of vodka into last November's Cal/Stanford football
game was the same guy who was later escorted out of his seat by four campus
cops in the first quarter. Who was that drunk man? Tucker Max, of course.
- The pee blame
Two months after ridiculing a drunk girl
for peeing in his bed, Tucker had his own nocturnal accident. Find out who
Tucker ended up blaming for the mess and why he had to “fake it” for the
first time in his life.
- Tucker comes home to
Tucker's done a lot of things while he's
been drunk, like throwing up on his dog, but he's never peed in his bed.
Unfortunately, someone else recently accomplished that feat for him, and
he's got the disturbing photographic evidence to prove it.
- Girl determined to
One night, Tucker was led to believe he
was so attractive that he was enrapturing even to women he didn’t know.
Turns out he's just enrapturing to women who are looking for a way to get
back at their boyfriends.
- Tucker goes to a
Tucker was excited to go to his first
celebrity party in LA, a shin-dig hosted by Red Bull. Unfortunately, the
party was rather thin in the "celebrity" department, considering Tucker was
one of the most famous people in the room even though nobody recognized him.
- Tucker ruins a wine
Throwing Tucker in a room with a bunch of
pompous idiots at a wine tasting is a bad idea, but the night took a
positive turn when Tucker met a hot lesbian who talked with him about porn,
threesomes and dildos.
- Tucker goes to
hockey game, causes trouble
Booze, booze and more booze. A
professional hockey game. A chance to go out on the ice and shoot pucks at
the team mascot. These were the ingredients that led to Tucker’s latest
adventure and got him kicked out of the arena.
- The UT weekend
Find out what happens when Tucker mixes a
liter of Everclear, a quart of Gatorade and a can of Red Bull – known as the
“Tucker Death Mix” – with a Tennessee-Miami football game during Homecoming
- Tucker bangs fat
girl, hilarity ensues
We've all done it. We've all accidentally
hooked up with a fat girl. Very few of us, however, have hooked up with a
fat girl on purpose. Well...Tucker has, and afterwards he threw her clothes
out of his bedroom window.
- The Absinthe Donuts story
A night of drinking absinthe, which Tucker calls devil juice brewed from the urine of Lucifer, led to another hilarious story filled with club hook-ups, window pickle races and parking a car
inside of a donut shop.
- My 21st birthday
Like most of us, Tucker's 21st birthday
was a drunken disaster, a night that included several rounds of shots,
plenty of vomiting and, to cap everything off, swearing at his mom on the
phone before he passed out.
- The famous "sushi
pants" story (07/29/2004)
Tucker used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years.
He was wrong. In his first story for Bullz-Eye, Tucker tells why Red Bull has been usurped by the portable alcohol breathalyzer.
Tucker Max graduated summa cum laude from the University of Chicago in three years, received an academic scholarship to Duke Law School, and graduated from there in 2001. So what did he do with all this education? Help the indigent? Feed the starving? Conquer corporate America?
He quit his job, got drunk every day, slept with any woman who would consent, regularly made an ass out of himself, then wrote about his adventures and posted them on the internet for the whole world to see.
And we are very grateful he did.
There isn't much good content on the vast expanse of the internet, and along with Bullz-Eye.com, we think Tucker's stuff is right up there at the top. We will be printing a Tucker Max Story
every other week for your entertainment. And if you are too obsessive to wait till next week, you can read his entire story archive at his site,
The girl next door has a
dirty little secret. You never see her at the bars because
she's always on
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largest sex personals site, looking for some lucky guy to seduce. Tonight, why not
you? In the meantime, check out the