From time to time, we get e-mails from some of you, commenting on the site.
You tell us how much you like the content. You tell us how much you like the columns. You tell us how much you like the music reviews, the city guides and everything else.
Mostly, though, you tell us how much you like the girls.
My boyfriend and I thought we'd share a fun story with you. He was somewhat sheepishly enjoying your website when I came up behind him and surprised him. Sometimes he forgets that I can get wet for a sexy woman almost as fast as he can get hard.
So our kudos to you, since we then started going through the galleries until we couldn't take it any more, and spent the rest of the night enjoying the consequences.
Thanks and enjoy,
Melissa, we loved your e-mail.
I mean, we really, really, really, really, really, really loved your e-mail. Thank you.
Personally, when I get mail, oftentimes you send me encouraging, inspirational words about my column. For example, last week I received a message from Tom in Roanoke which said:
I like your stuff. I usually read it after I look at the girls. Sometimes.
Other times, you offer good, solid constructive criticism. For example, last week I received an e-mail from Bob in Louisiana which said:
Y'know, if your column were shorter, there'd be room for more pictures of the girls.
And still on other occasions, you provide relevant, insightful commentary. For example, last week I received an e-mail from Stu in New York which said:
Dude, if you lighten the brightness button on your computer, you can totally see nipples on the second picture on the third page of that girl. It's awesome!
p.s. your column this week was sorta funny. But last week's blew.
Yes, whenever we get mail, we the staff of Bullz-Eye.com like to read it, digest it, reflect upon it, and then do our best to not only thank the person for writing, but hopefully use it to make the site even more user-friendly.
For example, last week, we received this warm, heartfelt, e-mail from one of our loyal fans:
Hello Woman Worshipers,
Again I find yet another website that pushes all the needs and wants of the female, "Earn brownie points for sending flowers" ads that ask if your woman is getting the satisfaction she deserves, etc. etc. etc. When will you fiends wake up and realise that the reason the male suicide rate is up to 6 times higher for males is because of your (the media) inconsiderate actions and the propagation of the belief that all that matters is how well looked after, how attended to and how happy a woman is. It doesn't matter if a guy is on the verge of jumping from a high cliff or slashing his wrists with his 3 edged razor, all that seems to matter is that a woman has the right f***ing shampoo and conditioner combination. Where did any consideration for the neglected male go to? The unloved, unwanted male cast into the shadow by the self-worshipping woman who will leave a guy the moment he doesn't give her endless amounts of money and attention for sexual favours or the promise of sexual favours. Equality would be a good idea/theme to have on your site, not just the ubiquitous worshipping of a female who happened to be born with a medium size pair of breasts and an adequate amount of beauty. Oh no, more focus on the useless good looking women who can do nothing other than self publicise their bodies. It's very easy to open ones legs and smile at the camera. It takes ability and talent to actually do something with one's life. I would be interested in reading about women with ability, women with talent, that is a turn on for me, not a useless whore who talks about her latest modeling session and how she found it difficult to look natural because she didn't have the right moisturiser. Perhaps I could suggest that you and your staff masturbate a bit more before coming to the office so that us, the consumer, doesn't have to consume your ideological unspent semen.
Thanks so much for getting in touch with us here at Bullz-Eye.com. We appreciate your comments and the time you've taken to give us your thoughts.
Please understand that we use feedback from readers like you to help make our site more topical and more in tune with what our target audience is looking for.
Unfortunately, AH, I'm almost positive that you're not our target audience.
You ass-smoking, dick-licking, turd burglar, sir.
Now AH, please don't think, "Well, this idiot is clearly going to give an immature response to my pointed commentary. Which is certainly not surprising given the childish content of the site."
I'd beg to differ, oh kind testicle-breath-filled sir. In fact, if you say that again, I'm going to have to ask you to kiss my fat, hairy patooty, Mr. Stinky Buttface.
AH, I mean, Mr. Ass Homo sir, by the way you've typed "favour" and "realize," I'm assuming you're either foreign, or you have a trophy at home that says "Last Place, Eighth Grade Spelling Bee."
Either way AH, I want you to know that I'm not here to criticize you. The truth is, I'm here to simply address your concerns with sophistication, maturity and decorum.
Before we begin though, I have a couple of questions:
Homo say what? And are you a foreign dicknitary?
Let's take this point-by-point, shall we?
"Hello Woman Worshipers,
Again I find yet another website that pushes all the needs and wants of the female."
Mr. Doofus-Faced Retard sir, Bullz-Eye.com does not push the needs ands wants of women. This site pushes the needs and wants of men who want women's asses.
"Where did any consideration for the neglected male go to?"
AH, I mean, Mr. Anal Humper sir, I may be going out on an immature limb here, but I reason to believe that you're feeling the need to express yourself because the kinds of women you're taking such offense to are the kinds of women who have shunned you all your life.
Would it be OK if I guessed what you looked like, Sir Loser sir? Would I be wrong if I guessed that you're ugly and out of shape and you've got a big fat nose and you're losing your hair and you haven't had sex in weeks?
And even though I just described myself, sir, you don't look anything like me.
"When will you fiends wake up and realise that the reason the male suicide rate is up to 6 times higher for males is because of your (the media) inconsiderate actions and the propagation of the belief that all that matters is how well looked after, how attended to and how happy a woman is. It doesn't matter if a guy is on the verge of jumping from a high cliff or slashing his wrists with his 3 edged razor, all that seems to matter is that a woman has the right f***ing shampoo and conditioner combination."
AH, I mean, Mr. Areola Hater, this part of your letter really touched me. In fact, when I started to think about if my woman was getting all the attention she deserves -- and I realized that she wasn't -- I have to tell you, I very seriously considered killing myself.
In fact if I had to guess, I'd say I was five times more likely to kill myself than I was before I read your letter.
Although I did bump it up to six times more likely after I saw a girl in an abs infomercial and I realized that while I didn't care how well she looked after or how happy she was, I did care that she appeared to have nice, big, honking nipples.
Is that what you meant by being more sensitive, sir?
In fact AH, I was so distraught, I actually went looking for a cliff to jump off of, but all I could find was a small snow bank outside our front door.
So instead, I made a snow angel and then I humped it because it looked like exactly Carmen Electra.
Well then I felt guilty about that, so I went over to the drugstore and asked for a three-edged razor to kill myself, and the pharmacist said, "A three-edged razor? What are you talking about? Are you some sort of foreign homosexual? We don't have any three-edged razors."
"By the way," he said, "would you like some f***ing shampoo and conditioner?"
"The unloved, unwanted male is cast into the shadow by the self-worshipping woman who will leave a guy the moment he doesn't give her endless amounts of money and attention for sexual favours or the promise of sexual favours."
If you'd allow me, sir, I'd like to translate this part of your letter:
You don't have a girlfriend. You're broke. And your two-inch whizzer doesn't get any bigger than two inches.
The funny thing is, sir, I'm two of those things, too. I just haven't told the world about it.
Or my girlfriend.
"Equality would be a good idea/theme to have on your site, not just the ubiquitous worshipping of a female."
Now you see, I do like this suggestion. I really do. In fact, I clearly think there needs to be more equality on Bullz-Eye.com.
Breasts and asses. Breasts and asses. Breast and asses. All we show on this site are breasts and asses.
Where in the heck are the vaginas?
For crying out loud, tons of medium-sized breasts and firm asses only go so far, y'know?
Where's the equality in that? We never get to see one vagina. Not a one.
I guess you're right, sir. Bullz-Eye.com is just another one of those typical T & A sites. And once again, the poor vagina is screwed.
So to speak.
Vaginas, sir. I couldn't agree more. We all need to see some vaginas.
That's kind of the equality you're thinking about, right?
"…not just the ubiquitous worshipping of a female who happened to be born with a medium size pair of breasts and an adequate amount of beauty."
I completely agree with this comment about the ubiquitous worshipping of a female. And while I have no clue what ubiquitous means, if it means, "hey, who wants to look at beautiful women with nice breasts, tight asses -- and vaginas!?" then I am the most ass-kickingest supporter of ubiquitousness that you've ever met.
"It's very easy to open ones leg's and smile at the camera."
Sir, if you are in fact right that it's very easy to open one's legs and smile in front of the camera, rest assured I'll be leaving momentarily to buy a Polaroid Quickcam and 134 rolls of film.
If this works, sir, you are my hero.
However, given the fact that you've just written a three-paragraph suicide note to a Website in another country, I'm guessing your Minolta theorem has some flaws.
Just a suggestion, but have you ever tried hiding in the bushes late at night with an 80-200 zoom lens?
Yeah. Um, neither have I.
"A women with ability, a woman with talent, that is a turn on for me. Not a useless whore who talks about her latest modeling session and how she found it difficult to look natural because she didn't have the right moisturiser."
Thankfully, we at Bullz-Eye now know exactly what you are looking for in a woman:
A penis and testicles.
"Perhaps I could suggest that you and your staff masturbate a bit more before coming to the office so that us, the consumer, doesn't have to consume your ideological unspent semen."
I think this is an excellent idea for the Bullz-Eye Suggestion box.
And while I do think it's a fantastic thought that we masturbate more often, I have some concerns:
1. I'm not sure it's possible to masturbate more. At least me.
2. Are you suggesting that masturbation at the office is taboo? Frankly, I find it far more convenient than masturbating in the shower. Plus, you don't have to worry about your kids walking in and watching daddy spank daddy's little monkey.
Oh, and one more time on this one, if you don't mind:
"…so that us, the consumer, doesn't have to consume your ideological unspent semen."
Sir, are you asking if you can swallow my sperm?
AH, I am now seven times more likely to kill myself.
At any rate, thanks again, sir, for getting in touch with us here at Bullz-Eye.com. We appreciate the feedback, and we hope to continue to provide you with more quality information and entertainment in the coming weeks and months.
If you don't kill yourself, we hope to hear from you again.
But if you do, can I have your f***ing shampoo?